i hope its not. i don’t wanna be superstitious about things that happen in life but certainly, i felt that this thing (whatever what i’m doing is) is not quite going wherever it should go. i’m am now crossing the line i think. and this was i think the exact same reason why my previous relationships didn’t work, because whenever i feel comfy, i cross the lines.
anyway, it hasn’t happened in reality yet but someday if given the chance, it might just happen and i might just cross the line again. anyway, here’s what happened:
miriam and i were in a subway, conversing about anything under the sun. i was not quite sure where were we going at that moment but i didn’t bother. i was just enjoying every moment about our conversation. what we were conversing about, i don’t remember anymore. so lets just pretend we were conversing about school.
so as the conversation goes on, MP (who is my crush, the person i love –LOL-) entered the scene and kissed miriam in the forehead. (weird). i was not bothered by it since MP usually kisses miriam in the cheeks. (not in the forehead). i don’t know why it is in the forehead this time. but there is something that really bothered me: MP ignored me, and didn’t even looked at me. – i was shocked- . and then MP chose to sit on the other end of the subway. i didn’t know what i had done. did i crossed the line again? i don’t know. i pretended to ignore MP too and pretended that i didn’t care. but deep inside, i was hurt. my heart was pounding so hard during the continuation of my conversation with miriam. that moment, was all i can think of. i wanna go over MP’s side and ask what’s going on but i thought twice. i let it go.
and then, my dad’s alarm rang and it was all over.
then again, it was just a dream. but i’m afraid it would definitely happen again if i let my feeling control me. so i have to stop. i have to stop now. T.T
